I took this photo while I was nursing Romy on our first morning at home together. I had no idea how to hold a newborn, I had never held one before - in fact Romy was the third baby I had ever held (& the first two were during my pregnancy!). Holding a newborn is a juggling act masked by joy; theres making sure the baby's neck has enough support, finding a good spot to rest their little limbs & setting yourself up in a comfortable position so you don't upset their little souls with all of your wriggling. And then there is the am I holding them right? do they need to be burped? and the lurking don't drop the baby anxiety. Initially, holding a newborn can be a bit of a thing. But then with weeks of practice you're a pro, & think it is a little funny when you're visitors get nervous to hold your newborn - because it's easy peasy to hold them, right?!
In the last month or so I've met two new babies; my cousin's little girl, & our friends little boy & both of those little bubbas were tiny! I thought tiny newborn Romy who had arrived 5 weeks early had prepared me for all the small babies in my future, but I was wrong. Because Romy grew bigger and then I became accustomed to holding bigger & bigger babies and now I have a toddler and the waking every two hours to feed phase is long behind us. And now I get it when other parents say 'oh, I don't remember that phase'. During my pregnancy I would ask my mum & her neighbour lots of questions about their experiences as new mothers & both of them rendered little information from their mummy memories trying to explain that there are so many different stages & phases that some parts of it get lost altogether. And that wasn't something I could understand at the time because this new exciting thing was happening and I was so set on being able to remember it all.
I'm not entirely sure babies are like bicycles, I guess I'll have more insight after baby no. 2 (much, much farther down the track!), but when I was nursing my cousin & friend's babies I felt completely clueless like I had never done this before & was asking them if I was holding their babies right. Which I had other mothers ask me when they held Romy for the first time, & I remember thinking to myself 'why are you asking me I don't know either!!!'. And if I can forget those initial awkward moments where you're adjusting to holding this brand new baby bean in your grips this soon, I am pretty sure that with a few years gap in between my newborn days I'll be feeling this way again. But for now I'm quite happy with the sporadic toddler hugs Romy rewards me with!
